Hey, do you plan on visiting Nigeria in the near future? Or are you already planning your visit? This short article is for you. Unlike your western countries, Nigeria and Nigerians are something else. They’ve got no chill.
I’m going to give you this guide on #1000 ways to die in Nigeria, hopefully, it’ll open your eyes and you may just yet survive.
So, straight to it.
#1000 Ways to Die in Nigeria 🇳🇬. #1000 different ways you can end up dead 😀
1- You cheat on your Benin girlfriend😥.
2 – Container falls on you at express road💀.
3- You relocate to Borno permanently 🎃.
4- You patronize ‘aboki’ motorcycle rider most often🙅♂️.
5- You always go to Calabar nighclubs and bar🙅.
6- You embark on Night travel by road with Peace Mass🤢.
7- You were caught stealing in Aba👀.
8- You rent an apartment close to your street transformer🧟♂️.
9- You embarrass and rebuke advances from a Cultist in school☠.
10 – You volunteer (rather stupidly) to re-connect electric wires that were disconnected by NEPA at night in the hood.
11- You mix MacDowell + Vodka and finish it all to impress us at a party💃.
12- Helping a fine bae collect her ball that fell into a Beach🧜♀️.
13- Frequent night strolls in the -mber months👻.
14- Join those long queue and gatherings for Federal government jobs👏(wehdon).
15- Toasting Hausa babes at the North during NYSC service year⚔.
16- Buying a gas cooker for your village wife💥.
17- Endurance trek to greet Mr President🚶♀️.
18- Trying to separate a hot fight between two agberos👎.
19- Emulating wrestling moves with your siblings.
20- Listening to ‘Wo’ on your android with handsfree on your android device at Onitsha road👀.
21- Bad mouthing and trolling Chelsea FC in the midst of diehard fans when they are losing🗡.
22- Going to Church in Borno💥.
23- Wearing black and black in Uniben🧛♂️.
24- Cat walking to cross the express road on a Sunday morning🚎.
25- Journey to greener pasture in Europe through desert or in kpako boat🧜♂️🌊.
26- Allowing a Benin girl fall in love with you🌊.
27-When a Yoruba boy falls in love with you🌊.
28- Cheating on an Edo girl that is in love with you🦖.
29-Keeping plates for your Nigerian mother to wash🐉.
30-Questioning your father on his education history🐉.
31-Wearing a camouflage on the streets😬.
32-Getting pregnant before marriage🤕.
33-Telling your mother her food is not sweet😈.
34-Comparing your father to Dangote👹.
35-Becoming a lesbian🔪🗡⚔💣🔫.
36-Getting home late⛏.
1000-Taking 40 shots of Tequila for N200000 and iPhone 7 (for my Nigerian people that will understand)😬
I’ll keep updating the list, that is if I don’t die first. I’m already guilty of most of these. For those out there, don’t say I didn’t tell you.
These are my #1000 ways to die in Nigeria.
Note: Do not try any of the actions depicted here…you WILL die!!!
NOTE: I was Featured on Naijasinglegirl, check out my guest post there!!!